You Raised Him
by hollywood13
Summary: Hermione reflects on the  platonic  relationship between she and Harry.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, it's all J.K. Rowling's.

You Raised Him

Not many people understand the relationship between you and Harry. You suppose that sometimes _you_ don't even understand it. But you _do _know that the love between you is deeper than that between most friends. You've seen each other at your very worst and you've survived a war together. Not only that—you've _ended_ a war together. Few can relate.

You've always felt a certain responsibility for him—this boy who has no family. When you were growing up, you fancied him as sort of a younger brother—one who gets a bit shouty and can be awfully thick at times…but still, never as thick as Ron, amazingly. But it's only now—now that you have two kids of your own and know the love of a mother—that you can look back and acknowledge that perhaps it was more of a mix: a mix of sibling and maternal love.

For it was _you_ that realized just how lonely this boy was, and _you_ who gave him his first hug. You who saw him cry the first time.

You still remember it vividly…you think perhaps it was the first time you really saw him; he looked so vulnerable. It was your third year and he was in the hospital wing recovering from falling off his broom the previous afternoon. You and Ron had been visiting him but you were going back to the common room for the night. He'd been quiet and distracted the entire time and so terribly, terribly pale. You stayed just a bit longer than Ron to ask if he was going to be okay. He of course replied that he was fine, though his voice sounded ridiculously forced. You stood there staring at him as his eyes got all watery and he began to cry. And like most boys, he desperately tried to pretend that he wasn't—blinking and avoiding eye contact and the like. His jaw was clenched and he was staring resolutely up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly when you grabbed his hand. His jaw sort of twitched and he cleared his throat and told you he'd see you and Ron tomorrow; you knew that that was your cue to leave. At the time, you didn't know he was struggling with reliving his parents' last moments, that that was what he heard when the dementors got too near. It still makes you nauseas to think about it.

As you got older, it was you he relied upon for girl advice, first with Cho, but as time steadily went by, you began to notice how his eyes were increasingly drawn to Ginny. When he watched Cedric Diggery die, you looked up all sorts of information about survivor's guilt and kept up with his eating and sleeping habits. Ron would tell you when he'd have a nightmare and you'd watch him just a bit more closely that day. Your routine didn't change after Sirius died. You briefly glimpsed him as an almost normal boy, spring of your sixth year. He was the happiest he'd ever been—Ginny and he were radiant. It was contagious. But when Dumbledore was killed, you knew it was only a matter of time before he ended it with her. You didn't tell Ron but you felt it was only right to warn Ginny. You needn't have bothered; she had sensed it too.

It was you who saw how much he struggled with Dumbledore's disillusionment and you who continuously tried to reassure him that Dumbledore really _had _loved him. And when it was just the two of you on that godforsaken horcrux hunt, you stayed up all night with him after the Godric's Hollow incident, wiping his face and whispering words of comfort as he alternately shouted, cried, and begged for his mum. You'd never seen Harry so vulnerable, so tormented, and you'd never felt quite so helpless.

You were the one to notice his absence during the final battle and you knew instantly where he'd gone, what he'd done. _You_ had the most reason to feel guilty (unlike Ron and Ginny, _you_ hadn't just lost a family member). You've never felt such an intense range of emotions in such a short span of time as when you saw him dead, alive, and victorious. You're sure your heart should've burst from all the emotional whiplash. And though it was you that fretted most over his depression after the war, it was Ginny that snapped him out of it.

It was your approval he first sought when he was planning to propose to Ginny; and when you watched him marry her, you were as proud as if he were your own.

And, when it was your doorstep he drunkenly turned up on after he found out Ginny was pregnant, you listened to him rant madly for hours about how he'd make a terrible father when all he'd ever known was Vernon Dursley.

You of course told him he was being ridiculous; you knew he'd be one of the best.

Afterall, you raised him.

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